So no idea where to begin but let's start.  So i have OCD, which is Obessive Compulsive Disorder. I would say mine is not the most common OCD condition where one will constantly count, sort or check things. Mine is a combination of washing, cleaning and a fear that everyone, yes even my own family can potential contaminate me and make me and my clothes dirty.



THE START
It was three years ago when i first began to develop these symptoms, up until then i was a normal self obsessed teenager who would complain over the smallest things. the most important part of my day was making sure that i completed my exercise routine and got to do the things that were cool like hanging out with friends, boys,  straightening my car and ensuring that i was always looking good.
Something change, almost overnight i would say; one day i broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half years because all of a sudden i was sick of him and his ways, i felt that he wasn't interested in me anymore and that i deserved more. Days turned into months and the boyfriend break-up went back and forth, we kept seeing each other then stopping and cutting all contact again. During this time i threw myself into work, i used to manage at Mc Donald's and somehow ended up getting caught in a work place romance with another manager. As time went by i started to go out more, smoking and drinking as you do when your 19years old.

I would basically work just so that i could go out and get drunk, loving all the new attention i was getting as i had never been single before, but it wasn't all good. Before this mid-life crisis or should i say young life crisis emerged i was quite shy, hated the thought of going out and even speaking to other guys, but at this time i thought that was what my life was about.  I remember this period lasting for about 6 months; I would work, go out, get drunk and come home anywhere between 5-6am, have a few hours nap and then be off early to work again. This cycle continued for quite a while.

It was one morning after coming back from clubbing, i decided i needed to shower i felt greasy and like it was the first thing i wanted to do. I think i was probably still tipsy at this time but i made it into the shower and began scrubbing with soap and drenching my hair is shampoo so i could feel ultra fresh. I was in the shower for about 40 minutes, i couldn't bring myself to get out, i had to keep scrubbing and scrubbing until i felt totally clean and then in which case i dragged myself into my room and just slept on top of my bed.

I think this was the start of my OCD contamination disorder. A a couple of months back i would have never showered for 40 minutes, let alone scrub so intensely, but that morning it seemed like it had to be done.